Should you or should you not get back with an ex? | Thriive.in
Should you or should you not get back with an ex?

Should you or should you not get back with an ex?

17 Feb, 2020

You broke up with your ex but you still can’t forget it. You do everything to get it out of your head but it still continues to haunt you. You somehow manage to digest your pain and move on and now your ex comes back to charge. And there you are, a little willing and more hesitant to take that chance. Let’s take a look at these 8 questions you could ask yourself before going back with your ex. May be this will help you get rid of the confusion. 

What is the intention?

The miss you? (Awww!). It is still prudent to know what they miss the most. What is he/she looking for concretely, your carnal or spiritual presence? Does he/she think of you because they are bored? Is it hidden jealousy because your ex learned that you’ve been seeing or dating someone for a few weeks now? Before investing again in this adventure, make sure that the intentions of your ex, as regards your couple are good and sincere.

Are you both ready to invest again in this relationship?

You have given a lot of time and energy to the relationship. So, if it is a question of renewing ties, it might as well go smoothly to the next level. Has your ex always kept the same vision of things? Are you convinced that the process of evolution in your relationship is reciprocal? Can you ignore the main reason for your breakup? List his/her good and bad sides as well as yours in order to weigh the pros and cons. This inventory can help you avoid reliving the suffering that you endured during your disagreements and that led you to break up.

Behind this desire, are you afraid of being alone?

Celibacy is never easy and it takes honourable strength to accept it. On the other hand, for fear of the loneliness of celibacy, you should not respond hastily to the calls from your ex’s lighthouse. Throwing yourself in his/her arms to fill a gap is never a good solution. If this person is really the love of your life and you really want to give your relationship a chance, you are free to make this choice.

Did you have the same goal in life?

You had a lot of common goals in the past but what about today? Is their thought process still the same? Make sure your future goals match or at the least, your ex will be supportive of it when you are back together. Being together without moving towards a common goal is quite complex to manage. If you agree to build a new story with them, it is because you still love him/her. However, you must be careful not to find yourself alone in maintaining the relationship or marital balance. 

What are the reasons that led to the end of your story?

It is important that you take stock in order to analyse the reasons that led you to break up. Is it an unforgivable error or infidelity? Has he/she been violent towards you? If so, there is no point in going back to a toxic and dangerous story. On the other hand, if it is a matter of routine, it is up to you to change your habits and positively feed your daily life.

Are you ready to accept that this “new” story doesn’t work?

Getting back with your ex is taking the risk that your story will not work again. It is really none or double as decision-making. You have to be ready to accept the possibility of confronting certain things from the past that you would not necessarily want to relive again. It may also be that this time, you are building a new story with new momentum, but the feelings and the will to evolve must be mutual.

What did they do during your breakup?

Your ex did not necessarily remain chaste during your breakup, so this is an opportunity to have your heart set on it. Did he/she take the initiative to hear from you when you were separated? You have to be ready to hear it and accept it. If not, ask yourself about the authenticity and sincerity of his/her feelings and especially about the real motivation. It is a stinging question but one that allows you to remain lucid.

In any event, the idea of getting back with your ex or not requires deep and long reflection. Getting back with your ex is not a choice to be taken lightly because it can cause irreversible disappointments and especially a real waste of time. But if everything goes well then you can be together without regrets! And on a lighter note, a known enemy is better than an unknown friend or partner, isn’t it?

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