Why and how to cut toxic people off your life?
2019 is nearly over, this means it’s time for a new year, new resolutions, new ‘me’ Facebook and Instagram statuses. While some consider a new year to be a whole new phase of life, the rest stick to the same old routines they follow every year. And that’s totally fair.
But if there’s one change you’d like to bring to your life to ensure the coming year is better than the previous one – it’s eliminating all of the toxic people, relationships and environment from your life.
How does it feel to read an article or a social media post that recommends you to: “cut toxic things out of your life?” There’s an old saying, save yourself before you can save others! The people and relationships you consider are toxic, might knowingly or unknowingly be pulling you down, consciously hindering your way leading to success, or hurting you as well as your self-esteem. Whatever the motives are, their negative behaviour is toxic for your well-being and it’s probably time to think about how and why you should remove them out of your life, but, on an immediate basis.
Identify the Source of Toxicity
The first step towards leading a happy and stress-free life begins with identifying the place from where toxicity is being generated. Learning which relationships and individuals are toxic and knowing how to manage them is vital for your well-being. Here, we are discussing toxicity – the sort that drains your energy and creates ambiguity in your life. But you must carefully understand if the person is just simply unpleasant, knowingly annoying, or is actually toxic for you and not others. You may need to work on it a bit, but it wouldn’t be incorrect to say that such people can completely sabotage your health, progress and happiness, and are harmful.
No More Second Chances – Here’s WHY!
- They’re Untrustworthy
Not only can you not trust them to keep your secrets intact, but you also can’t rely on them to extend a helping hand when you need it the most. You never know when they turn their back on you and decide to spill your beans, for no apparent reason.
- They’re Manipulative
If you feel, you’ve been contributing to a one-sided relationship, you’re probably right. People with toxic behaviour have a pattern of releasing the vibe that you constantly owe them a favour. This is predominantly common in relationships or workplaces where there’s a lack of balance of power. It is their way of doing things that hurts you, then pretending they were doing it all for you.
- They’ll hurt your Self-Esteem
Toxic people will find a way to humiliate you, insult you, demoralize you, and make you believe that you deserve this relationship. Eliminate them from their life before they make things worse than they are now.
- They’ll Exhaust you
Toxic people constantly suck up energy. The problem with this is that there will never be an end to things. They’ll lack respecting your boundaries if you say you are too exhausted for them. Toxic people will wear you out.
- They’re Judgmental
We all go wrong sometimes but toxic people will ensure you are aware of it. They’ll pass judgment and mock at your self-confidence suggesting you are wrong because you made a mistake. Don’t get into the argument. We are all allowed to take the wrong path every now and then, but only when we have committed a mistake that affects them, they hold the right to pass judgment.
So, would you want a person in your life who purposefully competes against your happiness and growth? The answer, without a doubt, is NO! But is it that easy?
Get Rid of Toxicity – Here’s HOW!
- Maintain Safe Distance
Keep people, who you feel are toxic, at a safe distance from you, your thoughts and your life. Don’t let their judgments, behaviour, or opinions influence or control your thoughts, feelings and emotions.
- Focus on your Goals
Concentrate on finding solutions to your problems. Don’t pay heed to what they think about you if they are ignorant of what you think about them. Remember, directly or indirectly, you are setting boundaries and teaching them that their behaviour will no longer be accepted.
- Be Firm
It’s possible that the toxic people in your life will refrain from moving away and refuse to leave you. Don’t allow this to happen. Be firm on your decision and clear about ending the relationship for good.
- Forgive but don’t Forget
Forgive toxic people, let them go and move on in your life. However, this doesn’t mean you forget how their behaviour has affected your well-being. It doesn’t indicate that you approve of their toxicity or are willing to give them another chance.
If you don’t cut off your toxic friend for the betterment of your other friendships, relationships, wallet, and dignity, you’ll soon find yourself trapped around negativity. Rather, ditch the people who don’t bring positivity in your life and keep those who make you feel worthy, freer, and importantly, happier.
Akanksha Shukla is a content strategist, writer by the day and reader by the night- all with the trusted companionship of coffee!