Family Trauma is carried in the subconscious mind; here’s how you could heal
Family trauma is most often carried in the subconscious mind. It’s often passed off as: “It’s in the genes”, “family karma”, or even looked upon in sort of surprise at how ‘history repeats itself’ – but all these are responses of shrugging off responsibility and passing the buck to genes, fate, and history – to something outside one’s self – which is actually why they perpetuate! It takes one family member – perhaps you, to step in and break this self-destructive chain!
History repeats itself
“History repeats itself” – simply because – young minds see and absorb the drama they see around them. As they subconsciously repeat it, they may consciously not want to go down that road!
‘Karma’ is what you have chosen to resolve or heal in any life. Some karma requires you first be born into that backdrop – into a family environment – which gives you that dynamic to then resolve and heal!
Challenging genes are often what you carry from one generation to another in order to resolve or heal. In this awareness you literally heal thy ‘ancestors’ and the oncoming new generation! You start with self, but heal the family line backward and forwards.
I had a client who was recently married and came for healing to deal with fibromyalgia (a painful immune disorder). As her story unfolded, her childhood came up – an aggressive alcoholic father (who has since passed away) would beat and berate their weaker mother, and was extremely rough with her brother. The family ambience was toxic, with much screaming and shouting and yet as many families, they continued seemingly fine on the surface. They would shrug it off as ‘genetic’ as their grandfather was seemingly the same!
My client married to ‘escape’ this – and was shocked to find that she had walked into a somewhat similar setup – her husband had a tendency to physically hit her whenever he was angry – and initially, she took it as that’s how men are! Even more shocking and hurtful to her was the fact that her brother had also started mistreating his wife and son – even though throughout their childhood he had vowed to never be like his father!
This horrified her as to how could he do this when he had so resented it in their father and thus they had started to fight. It would enrage my client – especially as her brother didn’t even feel he was becoming like their father! So while her brother didn’t drink… a little into his marriage the pattern had unfolded – screaming at his wife (and mother) and being aggressive with his son. My client’s mother would helplessly shrug it off lamenting that history repeats itself and could offer no support to her daughter-in-law. My client was caught amidst both the dramas – in her marital home and her maternal home. She described it as living in pain of the past playing out in her present and felt it was all hopelessly out of control.
How did Bach flower remedy help them?
The Bach session helped her see that blaming her father, brother, mother was not the answer – she had to heal herself. She became aware of how the subconscious picks up things and why the brother had become his father – and she, her mother. And that became the beginning of a long yes, but beautiful self-healing journey for her – largely reducing the fibromyalgia. But what really drove her was when she saw how her healing herself slowly rippled forth and brought change in her husband, brother, and mother.
As my client healed and came into her balance and strengthened herself and her marriage, her mother, who saw what she had thought was impossible also came for Bach healing to release her many demons and became stronger, and that support strengthened her daughter-in-law. In turn, the brother has slowly but surely started to change – my client doesn’t see him as a ‘mad man’ anymore which would drive her crazy with pain and anger – but as someone caught in his demons and someone who needs help. Just this shift in her attitude ‘cooled’ off something in her brother who is now opening to the idea of counseling.
Divyaa Kummar is a contemporary spiritual facilitator, writer, tarot reader, bach flower healer, and energy worker reaching out in various ways – but she sees herself more like a fellow traveler on the path sharing her intuitive wisdom with those on the journey to Self.