Do you always find yourself being overly critical of yourself? Are you too overwhelmed by almost everyone? Do you struggle with self-doubt? If you have answered yes to more than one of these questions then you are very likely suffering from insecurity.
In this age of social media, we are all struggling with self-image issues. However, for some their ordeal with insecurity has started way early in life even when social media was not around. Insecurity is no longer just an issue for them it becomes an integral part of their personality. For people, who have insecurity ingrained in their personality do not need occasional triggers. They are pretty much reflecting their insecure aura in every sphere of their life.
Our insecurity takes stem in our mind with critical internal voice. Dr. Lisa Firestone, who co-authored the book Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice wrote, “The critical inner voice is formed out of painful early life experiences in which we witnessed or experienced hurtful attitudes toward us or those close to us. As we grow up, we unconsciously adopt and integrate this pattern of destructive thoughts towards ourselves and others.” Lisa’s statement sums up what having insecurity as part of your personality looks like. Here are a few more signs that are evidence of this issue following your personality like a shadow.
Lack of confidence
It’s not just occasional nervousness but insecure people reflect deep lack of confidence. This interferes in their work and their ability to build connections with people. A constant looming thought whether you are good enough to do any task every now and then is an indication that you are grappling with deep insecurity.
Insecurity puts us in a flight or fight mode. Hence, whenever you are posed with a challenging situation your instant reaction is either to avoid it or shield yourself completely from it. This leads to you playing the blame game. Instead of thinking of the solution and being accountable for the circumstances you always try to evade the questions. Hence, you come across as a person who’ll always have low accountability towards everything.
No self-awareness and self-acceptance
When you are insecure you tend to be overly critical of yourself. This extreme criticism blinds your view of yourself leading to lack of self-awareness. As you struggle with knowing your true self you also slowly start developing a barrier towards self-acceptance. Hence, insecurity shoots down two targets with one bow – your self-acceptance and self-awareness.
All your relationships start with insecurity
When insecurity is no longer just a phase and becomes a part of your personality it becomes a part of your life as well. Hence, whenever you meet anyone new your first few interactions with them are filled with you being insecure. It’s only when the dust settles and you connect with them that insecurity takes a backseat.
How to deal with insecurity
- Watch your thoughts: Be very mindful of all the things you say to yourself. Make time to say positive affirmations to yourself. This will help you to look at all the good traits about yourself.
- Take up small challenges: Small challenges such as hitting the gym every day or completing a book every month will reaffirm your faith in yourself. As your will power to do anything increases your self-worth also increases.
- Write a journal: Writing is a powerful way of dealing with toxic emotions. Make a self-assessment journal and start with writing about everything that you like about yourself. Consistent self-reflection will go a long way in detoxing insecurity from your system.
- Talk to a therapist: There’s nothing wrong in seeking help. Whether you are experiencing extreme insecurity or occasional bouts of this feeling, talking to a therapist will go a long way.
When insecurity is your personality trait, it overpowers all your other traits. Hence, working on this issue to remove the internal debris is very crucial for your self-development.
Komal Patil is a business management graduate finding purpose through words, writing stories and poems.