I did not want to forgive because I believed it made me stronger to hold on. What if I forgive and I melt? What if I forgive and I get kind and vulnerable again? I saw not forgiving like saving myself from my own patterns. Then I could hold on to the anger and grudge and give myself the grand permission to have a self-talk that I thought was keeping me stronger.
I don’t know if you felt that but I remember when I would tell someone – ‘I will never ever forgive you’, I would feel powerful – yes, sad and unfortunate but true. Little did I know and now experiencing first hand that forgiveness is as powerful as gratitude.Little did I know and now experiencing first hand that forgiveness is as powerful as gratitude.
In fact I would go one step ahead and say forgiveness is gratitude. In a way it was giving me opportunities to let go of all my patterns and heaviness through an experience. Every time we come across an experience where we need to forgive ourselves or someone else – we are letting go of unwanted emotions within us. This I realized I could do every single night and let go the tiniest of things! How amazing is that! Such freedom and lightness isn’t it?
These are a couple of things that happen when we do true forgiveness – towards someone else or ourselves.
- We move from high alpha brain waves to low alpha brain waves – this is moving from intelligence and goal oriented to intuition and relaxation – both of which are needed for us but somehow we never move to lower alpha brain waves – monks consistently produce lower alpha waves.
- We start to ask – what is the intention behind my action or someone else’s action? We learn compassion for someone else and for ourselves. Then we can let go more easily.
- We clean up our subconscious and break the old patterns and thereby, attracting high vibration people, situations and more!
- We invite opportunities where we can introspect, reflect and learn from it rather than trying to avoid them.
- We feel real freedom because our response is no longer associated with anger and hurt ☺
There are some situations in my life when I had to practice to forgive, every single day to reach real forgiveness. That is when I also realized that many times when I said, ‘Oh, forget it’ or ‘I don’t care’ – well I was lying to myself. I hadn’t forgotten and I did care. Forgetting is often mistaken with forgiveness and knowing this difference is very important.
Even now when I sit at night and just reflect on my day – I practice daily to forgive, for the most micro experience of my life. Every small instance counts, in forgiveness because it gets fed to our subconscious.
The only person we are doing a disservice to- is ourselves. We don’t give ourselves a new beginning, a new creation, a new start, a new situation because we decided not to let go of the old patterns. And letting go of old patterns begins with forgiveness.
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