Real life couples who have decided to be child-free
A while ago, I came across a term that I got quite fascinated with – DINK. It is an abbreviation for Double Income, No Kids. If you look around, a lot of people in the 25-35 age group are enjoying lives without the responsibility of having a child. I have a few friends from that age group, as well and their common thought is this – they want to make money. They want to enjoy life. They want to do so without having children and the subsequent responsibility slowing them down. While the median age of women at their first childbirth is 20.3, a growing number of urban women are choosing not to have children at all. If you are wondering what this decision is like, then read on.
Bharti Sharma, 37, has been married for a little over 8 years. She and her husband, 39, have decided not to have children. “We did discuss having children earlier in our marriage, but one thing we were both clear on is that we wanted to enjoy life as a couple for a few years. 5 years is what we had decided to be child-free. Later when we discussed it again, my husband shared that he was not keen on having children. He has a very demanding career and is travelling for most part of the year. Even if he wished to, he couldn’t be a ‘present’ father. And he thinks that it’ll be unfair on me to be left to raising a child or children. I had my reservations, but I heard him out, thought about it, and was on-board. I love the life we have, where we can travel whenever and wherever we want. Not to be throwing any shade on people who have children, it is a lifestyle that I don’t see for us.”
Another couple, who don’t wish to be named, share their view. Both of them are 35 and been married for 10 years. “We have 2 cats, and don’t think we are ready for children,” the husband jokes. “On a serious note, initially when I was married, and up till a few years later, I did see children in our future. I thought that is how life progresses – you get married, enjoy a few years, then have children and become parents. My wife, on the other hand, was always very clear about not having children. We discussed it, even fought on it sometimes, but she was clear about her stand. Now I realise that given a child is the responsibility of both the partners, a woman, naturally, goes through a lot more. Pregnancy and all the changes it brings with itself are not easy to deal with. So I respect her feelings and have started working towards building a more fun and loving life for the 2 of us.”
While both these couples have different reasons for staying child-free, what they both agree is that its important to have friends and a support system in place. “We all need to have some people who will be with you through different phases of life. Having a good set of friends is important. You can’t be growing old with absolutely no one to fall back on,” says Bhakti.
If you are on the crossroads yourself, and can’t decide whether you have it in you to be a parent, you should talk to one of our therapists to get more clarity. CLICK HERE to connect with a therapist.