I’ve always associated the rains with romance (for all intents and purpose, we shall discount all our practical opinions on the monsoon and focus only on LOVE). Nothing can turn you into much faster than an afternoon of the rains drenching every tree, leaf, and flower, leaving little droplets on window panes to let you scrawl declarations of love.
No matter how much the monsoon inspires romance, there is always life that has to happen—responsibilities to be fulfilled, bills to be paid, deadlines to be met, and friends and families to be taken care of.
All of this cannot, and should not, be ignored.
But then, what of that one relationship that we spend so much of our lives dreaming about? Can’t let it take a backseat because there is so much else that takes up all our attention, can we? Of course not!
Here we are with the golden fleece: 5 simple, effective, and romantic tips from the tantric relationship philosophy that will help you make time for each other and make the most of it.
What is a tantric relationship?
Taking the world of romance by (a sensual and passionate) storm is tantric romance. Here’s how a tantric relationship is different from a ‘normal’ one: A tantric relationship is takes things characteristically slowly. It works on the principle that the key to a strong and lasting romance is taking the time to know not just each other but one’s own self. The goal of such a relationship is to become one (I love how that sounds) not just physically, but also on a deeper, more emotional level—to be more sensitive towards each other.
Quickly then, 5 tips, in no particular order, coming right up.
#1: Be aware—of each other and of yourself
It is important to know what your partner likes and dislikes, obviously. But tantric relationship advocates knowing yourself as well too. For a romantic relationship to be strong, open, and honest, you can’t achieve that level of openness unless you are relaxed with and within your own self.
As for awareness of each other, find an honest answer to what it is that you like about your partner the most. Tell each other of this every day—or at least as frequently as you can. This is fodder to intimacy like nothing else.
#2: Talk and listen
This one is as clichéd as they come but as important too, if not more. The tantric philosophy places a huge emphasis on the listening partner really listening to the speaking partner and not thinking about their response or their point of view. This also makes it easier for the speaking partner to switch into the role of the listener easily, seamlessly. The intimacy of a relationship thrives on this empathy.
#3: Breathe together
What is a relationship that does not heal you, does not let you settle into a comfortable silence and form a connection that goes beyond words and actions?
The tantric philosophy advises a simple two-step process to let you find comfort in each other’s silence—synchronize your breathing.
Step 1: Touch your foreheads. Or look into each other’s eyes.
Step 2: Inhale and exhale together.
Research suggests that 3 minutes of doing this attunes your sexual energies.
This exercise also works towards making you conscious of each other and yourself as you focus on your and your partner’s breathing. Not to mention, how incredibly romantic this is!
#4: Book an appointment
Don’t plan a surprise for your partner. Instead, consciously and looking at both your schedules, set a date for a, well, date. Don’t make them wait. Doesn’t matter if you can’t lock date for another 10 days. Set one whenever it works for both of you. This consideration brings in that openness.
What it also does is build anticipation as you both wait eagerly for some well-deserved time together. Send each other cute (and/or naughty) save the date notes and regular reminders. Let the anticipation weave its magic.
#5: Create a space that is you and yours
Make sure your well-deserved quality time is also well-planned.
You need a space in your home that is your sanctuary. Obviously, it should be one that has little or no distractions so that you can focus only on each other. Jazz it up so that it reflects you and your relationship; pick things like scented candles or soft lights, sensual music, soft bedspreads—anything that makes this a memorable and comfortable experience for both. Go all out or keep it minimal, decide together.
To spice things up, look up for a tantric massage.
A relationship is as strong as the earnestness with which both partners prioritize it. We live in a time where our heartbeat takes a back seat against the ticking of the clock. While chasing that deadline and buying that house are important things, remember that starving a relationship of its love, time and effort is not going to do any good.
So, when you finish reading this, I hope the first thing you do is tell your partner how much you love them and then plan a date with your partner.
Nikita Jhanglani is a technical and creative content writer, editor and book blogger. Currently, she is into world domination, one checklist at a time.