We Stand on the Shoulders of Women Who Shaped Our Life
When Sheryl Sandberg wrote Lean In as a go to guide for the working woman we got a glimpse into how similar life is for women across the world. How the path to success is paved for women who went from 9-5 jobs to trying to do it all. We learned that regardless of which part of the world you come from, your achievements are tinged by a similar range of emotions like mom guilt and how supportive partners play a huge role.
In our day to day lives beyond our careers we are guided by the wisdom of our mother, grandmother, aunts and friends. 3 women we knew share the best advice they ever got!
“Never take favours.” Maya Iyer followed this maxim ever since she stepped out of her home for college. She made it a point to split the bill whenever she went out with her friends. This habit held her good stead when she started dating.
She made it a point to Dutch so no guy could ever claim that he was showing her a good time. At a time when many of her classmates were gaining a reputation of being “high maintenance”, Maya steered clear of such labels. Not that she is judging their choices but she is glad to have been given these values. This also helped her understand that she needed to be independent. She is determined to marry someone who agrees to spend on their wedding on their own without taking any help from parents.
[email protected]#$ You Money
This is a term used to refer to the savings that you need to be able to quit a job or a relationship if ever you need to. This is why Anahita Dutta says, “I am not one of those women who relies on any man to handle all my finances. I don’t want to hand over all my money without knowing where it is used or even invested. This is not about trust, it is just prudent.”
Makes sense to put aside money for your requirements and that is easier done if you manage your finances yourself. There was a time when women would recommend hiding money in aata (flour) boxes. This was to ensure that they had money in a pinch. If push came to shove, they could escape an unbearable situation when needed.
Get Your Tribe
Research shows how important it is for women to have their own circle of women with whom they can share their deep secrets. It is important not only for their emotional health but such bonds and strong friendships can also positively impact their physical well being. One of the reasons Pavitra Shankar is very particular about making time for her gang of girls is the sage advice of her grandmother who practically raised her. She saw how her grandmother always had this circle of women who helped her through thick and thin. Sure all of them had families and worked in the kitchen for a long time. But, they.met under the pretext of some pooja or other occasion to share a bit of gossip, cry their heart out or just put their feet up and have a hearty chat.
Today, Pavitra and her friends who are in their 40s take an annual trip to some location leaving behind the kids and husbands and just have fun or support each other.