Diary of a divorced woman
In a patriarchal society like ours, marital divorce rocks the life of women more than it does of a man. It also taboos women so much so that it wrecks their self-image. Among the many disparities that are prevalent in our society, this is the chief most of them all.
Each marriage and divorce is different. It comes with its own compatibility issues. But divorce rings a final bell on the relationship.
Hollywood actor Demi Moore was worried that she would be abandoned after the divorce. ‘I tried avoiding the pain and it became greater’, says Jennifer Aniston, ex of Brad Pitt. Madonna says life is an adjustment and it is important to go beyond the pros and cons. Kim Kardashian says she was sorry that her life did not turn out to be the fairytale it must have been.
Coping with divorce is not easy. Many women have followed many different methods to cope with the bitterness and sense of failure following a divorce.
Tamil actor Amala Paul who shot to fame with her debut Mynaa fell in love with and married director, A L Vijay. But their marriage ended a while later. Though the divorce was mutual and the couple separated without any fanfare and scandal, Paul canceled her shootings and took to traveling to hill stations and practicing yoga.
The famous celebrity marriage of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie belongs to a different equation. The couple took time to grapple with marriage and divorce followed quickly. After each of them separately going through marital separations from their previous partners, Pitt and Jolie came together. After years of being together and adopting kids and having kids of their own, the couple wasn’t ready for marriage. Rumours about their relationship did the rounds and finally, they married in 2014, only to be divorced two years later. The magic evaporated and now a bitter custody battle for kids is brewing between them.
Malaika Arora and Arbaaz Khan ended their marital relationship after eighteen long years of being together. Citing happiness as the most important thing that she weighed in her life, Arora said that she and Arbaaz talked about the pros and cons before filing for divorce. Finally taking into consideration the lives of their kids and the unhappiness that was dominant in their relationship, they decided to separate.
The stumbling stone
The label of being single is hard to shake off. So are the judgments that come with it. The high points in the woman’s life come crashing, days after the divorce. Children, if any, are traumatized and most often the mother is made to be the reason for causing the trauma.
The reality check
Though Arbaaz and his girlfriend Andriani had declared their relationship, reports about Malaika in a relationship with actor Arjun Kapoor rife in the media, Malaika has openly stated that she is sure about her decision.
She went ahead with it though her family was skeptical until the last minute. “When you do it, you need to do it with a lot of self-respect and dignity,” Arora insists in one of her interviews.
Time and again, Arora became a victim of media judgments and various other societal statements. That’s why we have this question about why do women always have to face the brunt each time?
Paul’s ex, Vijay has married recently but she remains single still. But Paul is in a better place than before. Her career too has taken a U-turn and her film choices are very clear. Her recent film Aadai has won her a lot of critical acclaim. The me-time and time she took away from the glaring limelight gave her a sense of her true self, she had claimed in an interview to a regional magazine.
“It feels liberating to sleep alone on your bed,” Malaika says. She also encourages women to date after divorce.
Nicole Kidman made a firm decision not to feel desperate and start feeling positive. Uma Thurman says she got through it quicker than she thought she would.
Divorce is a process of transition and transformation. It is a chance to step out of one’s familiar zone and even rediscover themselves in the process. Above all, it is a couple’s decision. From the outside, it is unfair to judge the people and the separation.
Divorce is the saddest and darkest phase in a married person’s life. And it sucks to separate from a loved one. But moving forward, though the famous couples would cease to exist, fans hope that the individuals would be able to achieve some happiness in their lives and can get back to their lives peacefully.
Vijayalakshmi Sridhar’s stories explore human relationships and their dynamics. She is enjoying her journey as a writer of fiction and features.