How do you know that it is true love and not just infatuation
The power of dopamine lets us feel irrational and enjoy the whiff of a strong attraction and oh, how we love this feeling! However many times we mistake some of it for true love and try hard to make something work, which might have just been attraction or infatuation. We can rarely then see the difference between the two, which can lead to some damage and require some healing.
The irrational feeling often confuses us with the definition of love and we tell ourselves different stories to believe that this IS LOVE! There are some hard truths and known facts we need to know so we save our time and also the damage.
- Reality phase: The honeymoon phase often goes into the reality phase and in this phase, our values are tested! The most important value that is tested is ‘respect’. BK Shivani said rightly, without respect there is no love. Respect of individuality, respect of space, respect of each other’s needs – this comes clearly to the fore in the reality space. When this is missing, it probably was just attraction and there is no need to stretch it out hoping that respect will come in later. Respect is usually there right from the start – a natural thing you see.
- Problem-solving phase: When stuff hits the roof is when the real test is – there will be issues and problems and disappointment. How is the approach here? Is it healthy, progressive and forward-looking? Is it ‘you and I’ or is it ‘us’? Is there blaming and victimizing or is it taking responsibility? True love brings all of this together. Even recognition and awareness can slowly build this. We want to see if here a strong foundation can be built of a healthy and loving home.
- Well-being phase: Very often I see this missed out by even psychologists as a sign of true love! For me, this is so integral that if it is true love, it will positively impact one’s well-being – there will be positive health, natural glow, conscious lifestyle and why? Because health isn’t separate from us- once something is long term, we want to see each other healthy. It is a sign of true love. We often say we are an average of 5 people we surround ourselves with – this is a 24/7 surrounding – so, its impact will clearly show on our health, right?
- Priority phase: Taking for granted is when even if the above phases are crossed well, this one can create hurt and feeling not valued. This sets in later when you know the person is here to stay. However awareness can bring this back on track – a relationship is a responsibility like anything else, and prioritizing our partner is how true love remains intact! When we start doing this consciously and daily, knowing what value this person brings into our world, our foundation is strong and stable. We make an effort to celebrate special occasions, take breaks, switch off on weekend for family time, etc.
True love is a beautiful and real companion of life. Each one of us deserves to feel it and have it as we walk through this journey. However, knowing what true love is, helps us to make the right choice for ourselves so it can nourish our soul and that of our partner.
Nipa Asharam is a Thriive-verified, certified health and life coach. Keen to follow a holistic lifestyle that gives your skin a natural glow without stress and tons of maintenance? You can now learn and apply the easy-to-follow secrets to getting a Natural Glow in the comfort of your home.
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