10 May, 2020
The lockdown can have an adverse impact on your relationship if you and your partner are apart. Not being able to meet and going on dates can take a toll on your relationship. Jessica Gandhi, a Hypnotherapist, an expert in Neuro-Linguistic Programming and a Life Coach, and Kavita Panyam, a Psychologist and a Relationship Coach share how you can date virtually and strengthen your relationship with your partner during the lockdown.
Effective communication with your partner
You should spend quality time exclusively with each other. Do not nag your partner or get angry, if for any reason he/ she has not been able to speak to you at the allocated time. If you had a bad day and your partner calls or texts you, you can tell him/ her that you are not in the right frame of mind and you will connect later.
Make it a point to talk everyday regardless of your busy work-from-home schedule. You can stay connected through video calling and chatting on WhatsApp, Zoom, Skype, Google Hangout etc. It is vital to allocate time for having meaningful conversations which are separate from updates conversations that merely describe your day or discussing about others.
Plan date nights, watch movies and eat meals together on a video call
Work towards common goals, play games online or even start a new project together.
Engage in each other’s favourite activities over a video call, so it feels like you are both doing it together. Plan date nights, eat meals together or watch movies or comedy shows over a video call.
Celebrate your victories together
The current situation is difficult but your relationship does not need to be difficult. Find small excuses to celebrate each other’s victories like completing a project, meeting deadlines for work, getting new clients, a new business deal etc. You can bake a cake, eat your favourite comfort food or dance together on a video call to celebrate your success.
Have fun together
It is okay if you are not physically in the same place. It does not mean you cannot have fun together. Plan a movie night together via Skype where you can watch the same movie together when you are in different places. Play online quizzes or games together.
Plan your online dates ahead
Delight in the details of what the two of you will do the next time you see each other. Make it a ritual to talk about the fun things you will be doing together which both partners can look forward to.
Sign up and attend online online sessions together
You can sign up for online sessions together like Zumba,Tabata, playing guitar, violin, piano, sign up for a Law of Attraction course, online Mandala workshops, online bakery classes or even workout together by joining an online fitness class.
Set clear boundaries
You should not do anything that will make your partner feel uncomfortable or insecure. However, you should set clear boundaries that work for both of you and adhere to them. Also, do not let others violate the boundaries that you have set for your relationship.
Be open about your feelings
Are you thinking of separating because you think there are trust issues? Is your partner demanding more attention than you can give? Are you feeling unappreciated or unloved? The more specific you can be about what is annoying you, the more chance you have of finding a solution. Communicate clearly and openly about your thoughts, feelings, worries, fears and frustrations. A heart-to-heart conversation deepens your emotional understanding towards each other.
Work on your insecurities
If the lockdown has made you think you are not as important to your partner as they are to you, ask them outright if this is true. It might just be that they do not need as much contact as you do. You do not have to fight with each other or act impulsively if triggered due to the physical distance or simply because you feel insecured.
Deepen your communication with each other
You should be open and honest in your relationship, especially if you are feeling insecured, or the quarantine is making you feel uncomfortable in any way. You should have a non-judgemental approach towards yourself and your partner. The lockdown has provided a great opportunity to have meaningful conversations which otherwise you never had the time to discuss.
Stay calm and balanced
You should do the inner work, engage in yoga, meditation, journaling, or a hobby to stay calm and balanced. When you heal, your relationship heals too. The lockdown is a good opportunity to go within and do the inner work.
Lockdown can enhance your team spirit and problems solving skills
Lockdown is a good time to discover how you both cope with a crisis. It will show you how you will be as future partners and how you would work as a team. It will help you discover how you both solve problems, how you view difficulties and struggles, and deal with stress and anxiety.
Bring out the divine masculine and divine feminine qualities within you
Loving with physical limitations can be hard, and not knowing when it will all be over is even more of a challenge. Practice compassion, empathy, understanding, mindfulness, unconditional love, peace and harmony with self and with each other.
Make it or break it
We are living in strange and stressful times, so there can be mood swings. You or your partner may get irritated, annoyed, frustrated, and sad. The ability to resolve and discuss conflict openly and honestly will be determined by how secure your relationship is. So talk it over, allow the relationship to grow, and try your best to reduce the issues that can bring about conflict. The lockdown is a good opportunity to understand if your relationship can stand the test of time or if it has not been working out since a long time, you have been pushing long standing issues under the carpet and you may need to walk away.
Take your relationship to the next level- Commitment
Those couples who have been dating since a long time and are very sure that they want to make the relationship official, can plan their future together during the lockdown, since they are less distracted at present with other commitments. They can plan to get engaged soon. This should be done only from a place of love and peace and not rush in due to any insecurity or anxiety, any of the partners may be experiencing during the lockdown.
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