Is cheating ever justified? |
Is cheating ever justified?

Is cheating ever justified?

17 Feb, 2020

I am afraid that among all those who read this, many have already been cheated upon. You know how painful it is. It is like a million blades driving into your heart at the same time.

It’s easy to think that it is men who are mostly unfaithful. However, this is not entirely true. Indeed, women are just as guilty of cheating and infidelity as their male counterparts. But maybe not in the same way, or for the same reasons. 

Either way, we are all affected by cheating.

Cheating is a choice!

Faced with such a subject, it is difficult to play down. Infidelity or cheating is experienced as a betrayal of the worst kind. And rightly so, since it is the whole balance of the relationship that is called into question. Also, for those who are deceived or cheated, it is their self-esteem that takes a hit. Because you can’t help but wonder if you have something to do with it.

Of course, infidelity is the sole responsibility of the one who decides to cross the line. It’s their choice. However, in some cases, it is not as simple. We must not judge too hastily. Some couples have gone through hell and each has their own survival mechanisms.

Cheating: a chronic disease?

‘One day unfaithful, always unfaithful’

Is it true? I cannot answer you with certainty, but I do believe that someone who has cheated once will try again. Someone’s relationship to cheating speaks volumes about their personality, values and the way they see life. A man or woman who takes a kiss lightly will rarely be someone you can trust. 

But in this case, as in love in general, it is risky to make generalizations. I am certain that there are people who have slipped once and will never do it again. They made a mistake but corrected it in time.

A question of circumstances?

Then the question arises of what is considered cheating? A kiss, a message or text conversations, a sexual relationship? Again, I think it depends on everyone. For some, the simple act of exchanging messages with another is cheating or infidelity. Others, however, will easily forgive infidelity, if it comes down to a ‘simple’ kiss.

For my part, I do not take the same look at the infidelity of a man or woman married for 20 years and father of 2 children as on that of a young individual in a relationship for 6 months. Marriage is certainly one of the greatest challenges that one has to face. In fact, it is possible to lose ground.

But when you’ve been in a relationship for 6 months, when everything is beautiful and rosy, cheating does not bode well. If there is a moment when one must be faithful, quite naturally and without needing to force oneself, it is at the beginning of the relationship!

However, I am not giving married men or woman a clean chit to cheat. I say that this relationship must certainly be much more complicated and sometimes heavier to carry than that of someone young who has just met their partner. Being in a relationship is clearly not always easy.

Sometimes love or life takes over

But there are couples who can survive everything, even that. There is no doubt about it. It is often said that when there has been unfaithfulness, something is broken forever. And that may be true, but some people still manage to rebuild themselves afterwards.

There too, when we have children, a house and well-settled life, we think perhaps more about the possibility of forgiving than when we have just left high school and have no ties.

In the face of cheating, one must be understanding and tolerant. But neither should you be blind or stupid. So, watch out for phony excuses when your partner cheats.

Men who have had a moment of weakness. Women who needed to reassure themselves about their power of seduction, men whose sex lives are at a standstill, etc. All of these excuses are valid, of course. But is it enough to justify breaking the heart of the one who shares our life?

It is not up to me to answer this question, but I invite all those who have been unfaithful or are thinking of cheating to ask themselves seriously. Because even if forgiveness exists, it often proceeds on an extremely long and strewn path.

Some couples take several years to recover, despite the efforts and the desire to rebuild.

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