When we asked Cyntha Gonzalez how one could keep the love alive and sacred in a long- term relationship, such as in a marriage, this is what she said:
Cyntha Gonzalez is a transpersonal psychology counsellor who has done extensive work in the dynamics of relationships and in healing them. We requested her to reveal the secret of keeping the flame of love burning bright and sacred and she obliged. Read on.
In a long-term relationship, ego takes a back seat and the Divine is invited in as an equal partner.
Being transparent means being brave
Committing to transparency requires bravery. This is because it involves being radically honest.
Each one of us has our own set of triggers, fears and defences. In a partnership, we have to acknowledge that our partner is more than these traits. Also, we will need to develop the maturity to consciously and lovingly navigate all this. Doing all this requires courage.
If this spiritual and emotional groundwork is established, the foundation of the relationship becomes strong.
It then becomes safe for both partners to be transparent about anything that comes up. Be it not having to pretend something urgent has come up at work because you don’t want to attend the in-law’s family event. Or perhaps, sharing what you would really like to explore in your sexual relating.
Dangers of being transparent
Dare to tell the truth and risk your partner’s anger or even lose their love and commitment. But, the other side of the coin? You get rewarded with a relationship that is alive and dynamic and where trust, authenticity and mature love rule. You begin to trust in something bigger than yourself, for both your sakes.
The 2 roadblocks that can sabotage a sacred relationship
1) Unresolved childhood trauma
A committed relationship triggers any unprocessed hurt or trauma suffered as a vulnerable, dependent child. The abused inner child will have created elaborate defence mechanisms against any emotional intimacy. For the relationship to be conscious and mature, the partner has to accept this and dismantle them carefully. Only then will the two adults be able to relate intimately on both emotional and sexual levels.
Revealing one’s feelings can make one feel vulnerable. Or, one could make the other the One and Only turning the relationship into a co-dependent one. These are signs of an unhealthy relationship. So, following a strong spiritual practice provides the strength and perspective needed to maintain interdependence and not lose one’s self completely. This leads to a deeply satisfying, alive connection.
A new era for relationships begins
In today’s savvy world, the Sacred is not only in the inspiring temples. It’s in the relating of conscious, awakened couples. It is in forging new precedents not seen in the earlier generations, where bully or avoidant tactics reigned.
We’re in a new era and a sacred, potent, transparent relationship is the new benchmark we aspire to.