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Long distance relationships: Is true love possible?

18 Jun, 2019
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In an age where relationships start and end with swipes, long-distance relationships are often considered the stormiest waters to sail in. For a generation that is grappled with travel goals and moving cities for lucrative career opportunities, understanding long distance relationships have become all the more important.

Most of us believe that long distance relationships are tough and they require more effort. Though this is true to a certain extent you must also remember that anything that falls apart because of distance did not have a good foundation in the first place. Here’s how to know if your long distance relationship is true love and worth pursuing.

Invest time and energy

Time and energy are pretty much all that we have to offer to the world and other people, Investing the most valuable resources in your relationship should not look like a struggle instead it should feel like the best thing to do.

You will only feel like it’s a struggle when it is pulling you down or not adding value to you. True love will always play a vital role in making you a better person. Hence, when we invest our most valuable resources in something that helps us grow as a person it will always feel good and worthy.

They feel like home

When the boundaries have dissolved virtually but are more imminent in the real world it becomes more difficult to find a place to call home. We unlock our screens to find ourselves in someone else’s world and by the time we are back in the offline world we are already in a new city that seldom can be called home. However, long-distance relationships make you believe that you can indeed find a home in a person.   

Trust issues are an alien concept

All the relationship coffee table books will speak about this concept –trust and trust issues. However, discussing whether to trust or not should not even arise in a relationship. If you have to think whether to trust someone or not then you are already distrusting them. If you trust each other, there will always be a clear ‘Yes’ if you are confused, it’s a clear ‘No’.

They say long distance relationships need more trust- don’t let such statements and millennial literature scare you. There is no such thing as more trust and less trust. There is either trust or no trust at all. Period!  

Not in a hurry to meet you always

Contrary to pop culture beliefs, if you or your partner are always looking forward to meeting each other at any given opportunity then it is likely that your relationship may fall apart if you don’t get to see each other for a long time. While it may appear very sweet and loving that you both can’t just stay without each other, not being in haste to meet each other just reflects that the distance doesn’t affect the proximity between you two.

When you innately start feeling secure with the person you longing to see them decreases. Don’t mistake seeing each other for communication. Meeting each other in person is just a part of communication. Your communication in the relationship should be still strong even if you are not seeing each other that often and this is definitely a sign that nothing can break you apart.

Believe that this is the best you could have

If either of you are planning to  move to the same city in the hope that your relationship will get better by being closer then remember it’s a false alarm, Renowned author Leo Tolstoy says, ‘Love is a present activity only and the one who does not manifest love in the present has not to love’.

The same rings true for your relationship. If you can’t love the person whole-heartedly in any given circumstances, there are very little chances that you will love them when everything is perfect. And the love that begs convenience is no true love, it is the only convenience.

On the end note, don’t freak out because of the distance, for something that is meant to last will survive the barriers of time and distance.  

Komal Patil is a business management graduate finding purpose through words, writing stories and poems

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