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Moving on from a selfish relationship

9 Mar, 2019
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Moving on from a selfish relationship

Pouring more tea into a cup that’s filled is a sure case of insanity. Throwing away your affections on someone who doesn’t respond is also insanity. We met Natalie Matos, Singer, Song Writer & Reiki Master, to understand how one can stop this unhealthy behavior.

Relationships are beautiful and important. What we often forget about the most important one – the one with our self. And if any other relationship becomes demanding enough to make us put this relationship on the backseat, we must know when to move on.

Know when a relationship becomes selfish


To move on from a selfish relationship, we need to understand why we got involved in one in the first place.

It begins with a pattern: where we give to a relationship, people think we are great, they give back, and we feel good about ourselves—which is a great thing. But when we begin giving more and more without getting anything back, we only end up draining ourselves and feeling worthless.

Burn old bridges

 
What’s the way out, then? Giving ourselves everything we are used to, without expecting it from others. We need to think whether we are prioritizing ourselves as much as we are prioritizing people. We need to question whether we are investing as much love and care into us as we are spending on them.

Make self-care a priority

 
Now, this can feel a little odd, obviously. Some people struggle to even realize that they have their own needs. If that’s the case, just think of an area you can give yourself time and space. Start by having a weekly massage, or adding some meditation / relaxation time to your routine. The more we give ourselves space and nurturing, the more we connect with ourselves and understand our needs, and the more we make ourselves feel good, instead of relying on the process of giving to others to fill an empty void.

Self-love is not selfish love

 
“Won’t that make me selfish?” you ask. No, it won’t.

If you keep pouring tea in a cup, without drinking from it, the tea eventually spills out and is wasted. It is the same when we pour our affections into a relationship that doesn’t give us back anything. Similarly, we cannot pour tea from an empty cup. Which is why self-care is important. Sharing from an empty cup is as insane as over filling one. Once our cups are full, and we find the balance of giving equally to ourselves as well as others, through the law of attraction, we attract more people into our life who give as much as they receive. Selfish relationships disappear from our lives—or better, transform to more giving relationships—and we move on to a newer, happier, and more sustainable way of being.

About Natali Matos

Singer, songwriter and Reiki Master Natalie Matos has been giving treatments, teaching and leading music and healing workshops since 2004. Her primary passion has always been to help people get the most from life. In 2014, she developed ‘Conscious Voice’, offering multiple uplifting techniques that combine the power of music, meditation, healing, and voice, to create a deeply relaxing and transformative class. As well as her Sound Meditations she offers healing treatments (including distance treatments by Skype) individual voice coaching, group singing workshops, and live performance. We are proud to have her on board as a Thriive-verified therapist and she can be contacted here:https://tinyurl.com/ybcy73vx

About Nikita Jhanglani

Nikita Jhanglani
 is a technical and creative content writer, editor and book blogger. Currently, she is into world domination, one checklist at a time.

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