A lot my friends look upon me as a relationship guru. This seems rather funny, given that I have been single for most part of my life. What’s even funnier, they prefer to believe in the relationship advice given by anyone who is single! Believe it or not, being single has been one of the life options most underrated by people. So, let me tell you why it is absolutely OK to be single:
Insane Insecurity: Discard that self-doubt!
Most people in a relationship or even in a marriage would agree that insecurity comes along as a package with the status of being ‘committed’. No matter how much you try to dodge this reality, some amount of insecurity is bound to creep into every relationship after some point.
No, we are not only pointing at the insecurity that your partner might express but also the insecurity that you seed in yourself about your looks or personality. Self-doubt is one of the biggest drawbacks of being in a relationship.
When you are single, you completely avert the possibility of being insecure. No insecurities, more happiness!
Cunning controller: Begone!
One mistake that people do while in a relationship is that of controlling their close ones. It is human nature to hold things close to your heart. It is only natural that you would want to know what your spouse/ girlfriend or boyfriend is doing, but it is not cool to control their actions. Nobody likes to be watched over. This is one thing that most people in a relationship face. When you are single, you aren’t accountable to anybody but yourself and your parents (well, you’ll always be accountable to them!).
Me-time: Lots of it!
Being in a relationship gives you very little time for yourself. You constantly want to give that ‘me-time’ to your beloved. Sure, it is all nice and loving, but not having time for yourself will end up making you feel suffocated too soon. Being single means not ‘asking’ for me-time and working on your strengths and weaknesses.
Toxic relationships: Emotionally draining!
Hands down, everyone will agree to this one. When you are in a toxic relationship, you will constantly feel wasted and emotionally drained. Any relationship that costs you your mental well-being is a toxic one. These sort of toxic relationships are very harmful for your peace of mind and drain you inside-out! Being single is a boon in this case- because there is NO toxicity.
Being single: A case for self-independence!
Independence is a state of mind that has reached its Zen. It is when you aren’t depending on anybody for fulfilling your needs. Yes, it’s okay to have a shoulder to lean on but it isn’t good to depend on anybody more than on yourself. You will and should always be your sole-fulfiller. Independence in terms of decision making, goal-setting as well as making choices is integral to one’s confidence building. Unless you let yourself grow independent of others, you ain’t getting too far. And the good news is, this sort of freedom is only possible when you are single because you aren’t waiting for anybody else’s opinion.
Freedom: Be yourself without judgements!
Always ask yourself, how you would behave if you didn’t have to justify your actions to anybody? Doesn’t that thought itself give you respite? Yes, because giving justifications for your actions will make you emotionally sick. The pictures you send to prove to your partner about your whereabouts is the worst thing you are doing to yourself. Being single implies that you are sparing yourself from that trauma of undermining yourself.
Man is a social animal. We humans are meant to socialize with people. And this is one reason why we tend to believe that humans who are in a relationship are happier. But guess what, contrary to this belief, being single helps you to maintain relationships better since there is no tension of accountability or insecurity. This DOESN’T mean that those in relationships are less happy, but this only implies that your happiness doesn’t necessarily depend upon your relationship status.
Aishwarya Iyer is a chai-vanist, Murakami fan, considerate companion and a bubbly speaker with a fanaticism for fitness.