Self-love is honoring our life in a compassionate and kind way. It is about realizing that life is a gift. The more respect and care we give to ourselves, our lives flourish that much. It requires a daily dedicated practice to be able to reach an optimum level of self-love necessary to transmute negativity that we may experience in our day-to-day lives. Shweta Chopra, a Reiki practitioner, a Hypnotherapist and a Life Coach discusses the importance of self love and how to practice and increase our daily doses of self love to enhance the quality of our lives. It is essential to consistently follow a daily routine which is healthy, compassionate and growth oriented. We can start with ridding ourselves of the idea of attempting to be perfect, to enjoy a healthy foundation of self love.
Healthy boundaries, an expression of self love
Relationships take a toll often when there are no healthy boundaries practiced. Lack of healthy boundaries results into encroachment by others due to our poor understanding of our own needs and desires and most of us lack courage to do so, since we fear that our loved ones and others will not like us for being authentic and expressing our needs. In the long run, we would not only compromise opportunities for practicing self-love but relationships too due to people pleasing. So it is necessary to convey our needs, verbally in a firm and compassionate way. We should let others have the same time and space for their own practices of self-love.
Self-love comes through healing
Healing helps us to clear the emotional clutter that corrodes our spiritual and mental health. Emotional clutter results in manifesting a physical illness. Self love paves a path for love, light, opportunities, blessings, everything that we desire and makes our lives a more enjoyable experience. It helps us to unblock all the lower vibrational forces that attempt to keep us in low vibrations and hold us in low self esteem. These lower vibrations keep us trapped and act as a hindrance to reach our full potential. “What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others”- Confucius. As the saying goes, practicing compassion for self and others is also a form of self love. Our external lives are a reflection of what is within us.
Learn to say ‘no’ when required
When we go out of our way and frequently say yes to others, it takes a toll on us. It is important to understand that we are not honouring ourselves by overextending ourselves to others. If it is not adding positivity in our lives, if it hurting us in any way or if someone is intentionally taking advantage of us, or if our habit of saying yes all the time, encourages someone to subdue their responsibility, then it becomes imminent to take action, place healthy boundaries and learn to say no. If anyone feels hurt by our expression of self love, we should gently try to alleviate misconceptions but not stress about it and, thereon, leave it onto others to their own interpretation, understanding and healing that they need.
Daily doses of self love makes us a better person
Daily doses of self love and compassion which are essentially the same in nature makes us emotionally and mentally strong. When we feel violated due to our own faults, intentionally or unintentionally, we can reflect on it and improve. Nature always swings in balance and harmony, that is why it is so rhythmic and perfect in its existence. We should also try to imbibe these qualities of nature in our daily lives. We can maintain a healthy balance of give and take.
Authenticity promotes self love
Authenticity is a natural expression of our soul. It is the voice of the subconscious side of our existence. So, when we are being authentic, it becomes a natural state of progression for the soul to express and we feel more in tune with ourselves, more comfortable in our mind and bodies and more accepting of our environment. This results in less frictions in intention-thought-emotion-action patterns.
Self love brings us closer to God and our loved ones
To know thy self is to know God. We are microcosm to the macrocosm. The more our cup is full within with love, light and life force, the better we shall be able to offer it on the outside to our loved ones and others. It will strengthen our divine essence.
Self sacrifice and compromise is not love
Acting as martyrs does not prove if we really love ourselves or others. It requires even greater courage to acknowledge that when we sacrifice and compromise for others, they are not able to help themselves. Nature has given everyone all the resources they need to fulfill their life purpose and reach their full potential. So, by becoming a martyr for others, we are not only delaying their soul growth but making them codependent on us. We might temporarily feel good that that we have sacrificed for someone but in the long run, it entangles us even more and increases the chances of attracting similar scenarios in future, unless we learn a lesson of self love. Here, self love can be our knight in shining armor.
Honouring ourselves with self love
When people constantly tests our integrity, capability, and resilience, self love becomes our reservoir of peace and our saviour too. When we are complete by ourselves, giving ourselves all that we desire and need and we don’t look outside of ourselves for love, we don’t put unrealistic expectations on ourselves and others. Thereby, we become accepting of ourselves and others completely.
Create your own heaven on earth with self love
When everyone is fulfilling all their requirements within, they won’t accept what is incomplete and in disharmony with their natural selves. Practicing self love will open doorways for fulfilled relationships and peaceful and happy people. The sum total of this will be a new Earth where everyone is working together towards a collective fulfillment as the self has already achieved it’s full potential. This new Earth will be no less than heaven as we constantly create our own heaven and hell right where we are in every passing moment of our lives.
Journaling, a good tool for practicing self love
Start with basic journaling first where you write everything out without any judgement or filters. You will always feel relaxed and relieved after this exercise. Write the pros and cons for those relationships where you are facing issues. Then, gently introspect the reasons behind these issues as most people have good intentions but unclear communication and poor self-awareness creates distortions in relationships. When you write everything down, the emotional intensity experienced earlier will fade away. From a clear space, now you can analyse everything from a wider perspective. Once negativity is released, self love will automatically grow in those places where you earlier experienced negative emotions like anger, jealousy, animosity, self hatred etc. Over the course of time, journaling becomes a great tool for self love.
Choose compassion and self love even on bad days
Always remember that we might be suffering on a particular day but we are still totally capable of loving ourselves. Our ability to love ourselves is unconditional and a situation can only affect us in the proportion to the power we give to it. A bad day is only a bad one when we internalize it as bad. If we extend compassion towards ourselves, the same way as we do to a sick person, we will know that everything that turns out bad will eventually be much better than before.
“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love and affection.”- Buddha
A small act of self-love will have infinite ripple effects on our lives. We can always be rest assured that no matter what we do, self-love will always benefit us.
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