Now that we have familiarized ourselves with the theory of Sacred Sexuality it’s time to put it into practice. Cyntha Gonzalez, a transpersonal psychology counsellor based in Dubai, gives us the directions and also some easy-to-follow tips for deepening the sacred intimacy.
Sacred Sex can play an important role in our spiritual practice, which is what we learned in Part 1 of this series. And here’s an exercise that will help to seamlessly make your sexual practice even more sacred and satisfying:
Sacred Sex Exercise: The couple sits facing each other and holding hands, to achieve the sacredness. They are fully clothed and alternatively play a ‘giver’ and a ‘receiver’ role. The man is supposed to just caress her face and play with her hair and do nothing more. The woman has the freedom to tell him if he is going too fast. When he starts to do that, they realise that he has self-confidence issues and is having thoughts like, “Am I a good lover?” It requires a safe, unconditional accepting and non-judgmental transparency on the woman’s part to make this into a beautiful experience and vice-versa. This experience develops a way for them to have more communication about their sacred chemistry.
Enjoy a deeper intimacy with your partner by following these techniques:
Clean diet: The couple needs to clean up their diet and reduce alcohol and caffeine consumption because the former makes the body more sluggish and introduces toxins while the latter speeds up the body beyond its natural rhythm. When working with life force energy, if the body is not in a good physical condition or the diet is a bit too haphazard, it will interfere with the natural flow.
Breath work: A lot of people do not know how to breathe. They are often either traumatized by something, so the breath is either very shallow or too rushed. We all have our emotional demons or wounds but most people haven’t been given the tools for dealing with them. That’s why when you don’t have a good dance of breath, sacred sex becomes stagnant.
Transparency: If there is transparency, we become intuitive. And if we withhold certain things and do not express them, a hindrance arises in the whole energetic fields of the couple. So in order to have good sacred sexuality, there must be a reasonable amount of transparency.
Touch: The key to being conscious in one’s touch is to know the difference between knowing how to mindfully and consciously touch versus just touching. It has 2 components:
1) Being very present and not being too fast or too distracted.
2) Trusting yourself when you touch.
In order for the touch to be mindful, you have to be ready to receive it. Our bodies hold all of our cellular memories so when you touch somebody in the sexual or non-sexual manner, if there is any place that has not expressed itself, the other person picks it up. Once that happens, help them express their feelings in a trustworthy manner that feels most safe to them.
Forgiveness: If forgiveness is not an active spiritual practice in a couple, it will be very difficult to navigate all the above points. Forgiveness is the neutralizer, no matter what comes up. It’s the ability to come back to love. I would suggest Stephen Levine’s forgiveness meditation to become more forgiving.
Polarity: The polarity between the masculine and the feminine essence, which is beyond homosexual or heterosexual sex, is very important. For example, if someone is the masculine energy and wants to be a giver to their partner but their partner starts controlling things or directing the relationship, it is not going to work. But let’s say he/she is really receptive, in that case it would enhance the whole experience for the couple. It is clear then that this quality of polarity is very important to acknowledge because that level of sexual excitement and energy will not be able to melt and increase if there isn’t sexual polarity.
Twin flame relationships and sacred sexuality
You don’t need to be in a twin flame relationship to experience sacred sexuality. When a couple, whether they are identified as a twin flame or not, make love in a very sacred way, there is a choir of angels that sings along with the anchoring of light on all the 7 dimensions of the Universe.
When it’s a long distance relationship
It is possible to attain sacred sexuality even in long distance relationships. There are incredible ways to do it. Energy is not limited or constrained by time or distance. But there must be some minimum mastery in working with subtle life force energy in order to be able to experience it.
Yes, sacred sexuality is not just about the pleasures of sex. It is about a way of life that is fulfilling and spiritually rich.