I know what you’re thinking. Didn’t she just meet her soul? What again?!!! Let me tell you, a meeting with your soul can’t be a one time thing. This is one meeting that doesn’t even care if you’re dead. Your soul’s definitely going to be picking you up post death. So, in the interest of life, death and the ever after, I thought it is best to become besties with my soul.
Remember the last time I was talking about the moon energy making my name stronger? Soon after the DNA workshop, the moon grew into its fullness. Though my name saw no difference, the energies around the office started going a bit wonky. Since I’m the office guinea pig, they decided it was time to initiate me into how these heightened energies could trigger reactions at all levels. In ancient times, when clocks and calendars didn’t rule the days, women used to menstruate with the lunar (moon) cycle which is also of 28 days. So, PMS is many times more like a Pre-moon-syndrome! I could tell that my moon metaphors have constantly been tested. Even before I was done rolling my eyes, I was told there was a whole new meditation for the full moon! Walking into a Nike store and looking at the bottom of my shoe would have made me meet my soul faster than this!
Game on, Moon! Pre-Thriive I used to consistently ignore all persistent online moon articles like “this time full moon will bring emotional stability” or “find out what it means for the moon to enter the Gemini”. Unfortunately or not, I am a Gemini. No matter how hard I tried to make my brain shut up, it only smiled devilishly reminding me of Rae’s insights “The moon will show up for you at midnight.” And I thought, this is not Harry Potter. This is now my real life.
Armed with my best friend, and a strong cup of ginger tea, I readied and steadied my emotions, peeked at the moon, and began the full moon meditation. Fear was not a factor, of course, but the bff, ginger tea, and the wide open window in front of me undeniably made me a stronger girl. I had a planned escape route, a teammate, and fuel in my system. Mission ready.
Very soon we seeped deep into the meditation. The voice and images guiding us spared me from getting lost in thousands of thoughts. This was much like one of the episodes of Black Mirror, where the protagonist is put in a room with no internet, cell phone or a TV to test the latest game developed on human psyche. What a fake game! An ideal mind is a devil’s workshop anyway. We all know that. This guy starts to manifest the scariest of his fears as his mind starts to play tricks. And the developer proudly declares that he discovered this guy has insanity hidden within him. Crap! I feel like that protagonist all the time when I meditate without anyone guiding me through it in the audio.
The meditation spoke of white light entering the heart chakra and the rest of the body and a fence of energy being created around me. When it asked to imagine the white light entering the palms of my hands, my palms actually got heavy and I felt like I was carrying a few kgs in each one. The only thing left was to start working out with that. Unlike last time in Rae’s workshop, I was actually more receptive (and also more scared, because there were no people). I had no idea how to send back whatever may come my way in those twenty minutes. My chest started feeling really heavy like it does when someone eats samosas without sharing.
There hasn’t been this kind of exposure before where I felt my own body energy and I felt it strong. I felt it move up and down, going deep inside, and engulfing me as if it was always there. Because c’mon in India you cannot get anything so instantly, apart from a bad word and a bad maid.
After 20 minutes, the angst of my soul was opening up, even though in different directions for now. I had multiple dreams that night, which doesn’t happen that often even though I am somebody who dreams almost every night and remembers them for the next two days. I know, you slightly envy me right now. And then I completely stopped having any dreams at all. I know, you don’t envy me anymore. This continued for the next few nights and I was honestly frustrated because analysing what my dream meant in the cab next morning, on my way to work was the best timepass ever. I felt deceived. And I was thinking if that was supposed to be the outcome of the moon meditation – it sure wasn’t bringing any peace.
Was my body realigning itself during this no-dream period, were there any changes taking place at the subconscious level, was my mind really that blank and I had no dreams left to chase (rhetorically speaking) or something else altogether? You know what, I am going to figure this out very soon! I don’t know any answers yet, but I do have an increasing list of questions – I do have an increasing angst for my soul!